The Blues
Junior Wells
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Links
The Blues Foundation [ http://www.blues.org/
]
Blues Hall Of Fame [ http://www.blues.org/halloffame/index.html
]
The Blues Directory [ http://blueslinks.tripod.com/
] lots of links, including lyrics
Yahoo's Blues Site [ http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/music/genres/blues/
]
Blues Net [ http://bluesnet.hub.org/
] has bibliographic database
MIDI Music [ http://mp3.about.com/cs/midisblues/
] links to MIDI files
How To Sing The Blues
Here is some Internet humor:
- Most blues begin, "Woke up this morning." "I got a good woman," is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you
stick something nasty in the next line: "I got a good woman with the meanest
dog in town."
- Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it.
Then find something that rhymes. Sort of:
"Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town.
Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town.
He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and he weighs 500 pounds."
- The blues are not about limitless choice.
- Blues cars are Chevys and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues
transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
- Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues
adulthood means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
- You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or
Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have
the blues.
- The following colors do not belong in the blues:
a. violet
b. beige
c. mauve
- You can't have the blues in an office or a shopping mall-the
lighting is wrong.
- Good places for the Blues:
a. the highway
b. the jailhouse
c. an empty bed
- Bad places for the Blues:
a. ashrams
b. gallery openings
c. weekend in the Hamptons
- No one will believe it's the blues if you wear a suit, unless
you happen to be an old black man.
- Do you have the right to sing the blues?
Yes, if:
a. your first name is a southern state-like Georgia
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you were once blind but now can see
b. you're deaf
c. you have a trust fund.
- Neither Julio Iglesias nor Barbra Streisand can sing the blues.
- If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it's the blues.
Other blues beverages are:
a. wine
b. Irish whiskey
c. muddy water
The following are NOT blues beverages:
a. any mixed drink.
b. any wine kosher for passover.
c. Yoo Hoo (all flavors)
- If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack,
it's a blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another blues
way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied
treatment in an emergency room. It is not a blues death if you die during a
liposuction treatment.
- Some Blues names for Women
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
- Some Blues Names for Men
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
e. Lightning
Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, and Rainbow will not be permitted to sing the blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
Other Blues Names (Starter Kit)
a. Name of Physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Asthmatic)
b. First name (see above) or name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)
c. Last Name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
Mix and Match to taste.